A Saturday Party

Someone suggested karaoke at my place. Someone agreed. I went along for the ride, and managed a few songs, while failing at some. Well, it was fun, at least for me.

That Saturday morning, I swam. I had not been swimming regularly, ever since I became pre-occupied with my hairfall situation a few weeks ago. These days, I swim less, and I take note less of the amount of hair my hand catches when it runs through my head. Ignorance is bliss.

That Saturday evening, we had steamboat. It was a good one with friends, though I lament that my friend’s child was very picky when it came to food: so much so that we had to buy her a separate dinner in spite of what we had prepared. If I had a daughter as such, I would sooner disown her, I think. I do not presume my friend’s parenting skills.

We played some games in between karaoke, swim and dinner, and that was fun. I was surprised when D said we should play Scythe the next time, when he spotted the game sitting at the corner of a shelf, neglected. I think I indeed, I will cash in on the suggestion some time in the near future.

Living for Today; Worrying about Tomorrow

I have an idea for the new short story, or a Facebook Note really, but I don’t know how to put it to words or have yet to figure out the best format to tell the story.

Impulsively, in spite of the work piling up, I took the afternoon off on Tuesday. I thought I would go out, but in the end I stayed home. I rested the afternoon away, tried to min-max my character in SINoALICE, and basically just chilled, not caring about work. I was particularly concerned about a certain colleague’s instant message but I didn’t feel like it was appropriate to discuss over digital medium what he asked of me. People are complicated, and I think the distance between face and screens further complicates matters. I mean, I agree it strips away body language and other visible cues but in this instance, I do think all those cues are important.

I swam, ate pizza, had bread and ham for breakfast, and ate more pizza because there was leftovers. If only all my days could be such leisurely ones. But prices, we pay for leisure amid chaos and hectic lives.

What is this feeling, so sudden and sure?

Construction works begin in “phase 2” and the water regulator started pounding away, upgrading pipes near my place. That necessitated a change of plans, as I packed my laptop and headed to office for a peaceful, and quiet afternoon. It would have been all good but an afternoon meeting at four was delayed to five, and then dragged on to close to eight. It was as though no one on the other side of the line had dinner to get to. Ah, the sacrifices we make for work.

I did eventually get Thai food for dinner after packing up close to half past eight.

After dinner, I had this awkward urge to get a massage even though I have never gone for one in my lifetime. Was it weariness getting to me, or some subconscious desire for the sense of touch to overcome me, hold me, and tell me it’s all going to be okay? I suspect the latter. That or the Thai dinner left me wanting.

I embarked on my pre-sleep swim per usual, but ended up feeling hungry and tired right before sleep. I need more sleep, and nutrients, and perhaps I should rethink this “swim before sleep” routine I have started of late.

Am I lazy or is it Saturday?

It’s the weekend, and still no concrete plans of any kind. I asked to meet a friend, to get back a library book I had mistakenly left with her. That got me to bust my lazy ass out of the house, even if for a bit. Otherwise, it was the usual blend of rest, lazing, and games.

The tooth still hurt a bit, but I’m thinking it’s a stress-induced sort of thing, though I don’t feel stressed. Perhaps the body knows more than I do. Case in point, I tried to swim but my arms and muscles ached so much from the pull-ups and exercise on Friday, I gave up after a while. I need to read my body better, since that is all I have as I age, and age, and age.

A little company would be nice. I really should be more practive in asking people out for activities and stuff, even though the new norm is still not quite a safe norm.

“If there’s nothing missing in my life”

Thursday, and it was supper. A catch up with a colleague, and an ex-colleague. I surprised one by eating a lot. Actually, I can eat quite a bit. I just don’t, and I stick to healthy food mostly. So many facets of me unrevealed to most, it scares me. The supper of prate and murtabak was good. I lied; I like sardines, even if they are the canned ones soaked in tomato gravy.

I guess I can learn to swim when the sun is out, instead of late night dipping. The noon heat on a clear day is awesome. I don’t stay soaked or scorched for too long, and I get my fix of being healthy, and the water. All factors considered, I am blessed. Work is still a downer, but I have other parts of my life in order, mostly.

Cooling-off Day

It’s the last work day of the week (Thursday), because Friday is a public holiday due to Polling Day. I was back in office to assist a colleague in a meeting, and that was a good time away from working from home. Indeed I was more productive. It could be the environment, it could be psychological.

In the evening, I went for a swim. I think I’ve been able to get a swim in, every day of the week thus far. It has been refreshing, and the cool of the water much needed. A healthy constitution, and exercise amid these challenging times should not be neglected.

I was glad for the short week, and looked forward to the long weekend, though not quite the elections itself. This short period of campaigning had brought many issues to the fore, and some I was not quite certain should be priorities, but indeed we all get the government we deserve.

Freedom, Love, and Longing

End the Friday with a swim. I decided to take the stairs to the pool because someone had just called for the only lift, and it would take some time for me to wait. Right before I reached the pool, I turned back from the steps, and went down the stairs, back to my apartment to wait.

Time passed. I headed back to the pool. There was no one there now — not at the pool, and certainly not at the flight of stairs leading to the pool.
*******

I finally decided to cut my hair.

The last time someone went near it with a pair of scissors and a shaver was before “circuit breaker”. Now, wasn’t that a while back? I was apprehensive about getting my hair cut. One part was my growing attachment to the unkempt mane, because I cannot quite remember I had allowed hair to grow this much. Another part just wanted to keep the new status quo. Still, a haircut I got.

I saw something different in the mirror, and my cognition was trying to reclaim the visage it abandoned an unspecified amount of time ago.

Actually, I took half the day off to get out of the house on a working weekday, so that I could simply roam, and be, and that was good for my mental well-being. I wish I had Five Guys for lunch, instead of settling for Burger King. I wish I had bought those set of card sleeves. I wish I took more time to roam. I wish I did more in the span of time I was away, but really, just getting out of the house was enough.

Antithesis

Faced with notes upon notes from the facilitation session last week, I sought ways and means to organise and present them. I worked, and re-worked, and tried to tell myself that my housemate speaking loudly during his near-constant conference calls did not help me.

The close proximity to my bed did me no favours either.

These nights, I have been swimming. I guess that is the perk of living in a 12-unit apartment block with its dedicated pool. I am always alone in the pool after ten. My thoughts are clear, and my swimming path however short, too. I ruminate on life, as I traverse laps: on how “home” is the antithesis of “office” and so it did not make sense for me to be working from anywhere but the office, on how lucky I am to be employed with a relatively comfortable salary for the work I do, on my future and the lack of a care-giving figure in it. Where do I retire, with whom, and how?

I suppose it may be better to look past the immediate pandemic, before letting these thoughts stray so far ahead of time. Every day, I find out something disappointing about my boss, but I brush it under the rug to focus on happier times.

Blue is the Monday like all other Mondays

Oh, Monday blues, you hit strong and hard. No cure, no reprieve, no panacea. Just a feeling of dread to tide through the day is all. Productivity takes a hit as I am stuck at home, with nothing to look forward to except the end of the day.

At the end of the day, I was on Legends of Runeterra, and Hades. On the television front, I was streaming Crazy Delicious on Netflix, keeping up what is a trend of my recent obssession with cooking competitions on the less-serious side. Any show that replaces the words “judges” with “food gods”, and takes place in a Garden of Eden-esque set, is gimmicky enough for me. Jayde Adams as the host is awesome, even though they clearly hired her for humour and left the food critiquing to the “food gods”.

I certainly need to pick my pace up for work, or find motivation somehow. Well, at least the pool is open for my end-of-day swims.

Friday was so yesterday

I couldn’t concentrate at home, I couldn’t concentrate in office. Friday is the new weekend. I could only think of how to make this chocolate sorbet recipe I found. I was also reading up on the ways it could go wrong, like freeze into an ice block, or not freeze at all.

As much as I searched, unsweetened cocoa powder was not to be found at a reasonable price.

It’s “Phase 2”, and the pool at my place opened so I took a dip in the evening. Having bought an exercise mat, and stayed home mostly, it was as though I lost the drive or ability to swim. A dip was enough. Slowly but surely, I will take to the pool for leisure again.

Election season is coming up, and everyone suddenly has a topic to go to, and their opinions to give. I am no different. I think I should be mindful of bringing the topic up more than my peers care for it. Politics can be a tricky thing.